12/8/10

So finally convo ended yesterday. How was it if u asked me. Well...kinda bored. Thought I'd feel crying or touch...but i dint. Just duper boring. Was still so excited attending convo for the very 1st time in my life and den got bored and bored and bored after that. Ended up we chat at the back and some of us even slept! haha :D

And guess the reason I haven had any special feeling towards it maybe due to it's not the time yet? hmm :| Yet i started imagine what would I feel next year. My own convo. Will I had no feeling still? but I know I'd feel kind of 空虚 after that. It's like the feeling I dunno what to do next or tomorrow gonna be different yet I had not enough mental preparation for it!

And now I started to think what shall i do after this. Master or Work?

Hmm.

I needed someone mature someone elder someone i can refer to help me. yet I found no one. People would just tell you 'Follow your heart". But I need advices.

:|

P.s.: After last time's incident, guess it affect me pretty much, i'm getting more 'evil' now. Recently,I just start thinking what's the point I caring for others so much yet ppl just thought that was what you should do for them they dont really appreciate it and might not even be there when u needed them. But of course i'm not doing these to everyone around me just some person I realised that's not worth of me caring for them so much.

Sometimes I felt I'm being left out.

and

I hate being left out.

Really.

Did tried to think positive.

I really did.

But,

I just cant overcome the negative one.