Had gathering yesterday.After 2 years.
First was kinda...=.=" haven changed at all..no one was punctual.I was like a weirdo sitting over there waited for them for 15min den only wen xin, junie came..and den half hr later,jye ming ,kathy, wei long den almost 5 only yiling n chee seong.
gathering at moonlight was a great one i guess. at least i think i participated in and got updated with everyone and head stories. surprisngly never thought chee seong was kind of....would did anything for love i should say.
and of course as usual i asked lot questions. lol..i m recently confused by myself with some questions, and it was a good chance to know about it...but guess yesterday gathering everyone thought i must be so desperate...hahaha intro-ing chee seong n mr. chew to me during steamboat..doh..=.="
den i remembered i should learnt to be open and playful abit like kathy them do..stop being a quiet one sitting there just laugh...and i tried. guess i was quite good? i dunno. i think somehow changed...be a little more talkative and more participating in conversations? but frankly, i found that when i talked people don really like listen what i said. felt like being ignored. but who cares right? i read a notes on fb the other day felt it was making sense alot, it said dont ever care about how people think about u (exactly like how Erni advised me last time). People dont really purposely remember what u did or what u said, they dont really care for it for long, you were the one who minded it. and it was actually a little annoying too.
make sense right?
only your loved you will care about everything u did but not every others. who had so much time to remember what you had done, they had tons of work and things to go through in their life still.
anyway, the notes inspired me. As it was making so much sense.
Man..i should be talking about steamboat and gathering...why am i talking about the notes so long..anyway this is my blog, who cares?! i write what i want. haha
anyway, i said i tried to be open, participate in the conversation but felt was like being ignored most the time..i duno my voice was too slow or was really being ignored..Whatever. Who cares.
I actually found most the time the situation was cold too, everyone was so calm. ~.~
Yet thanks to kathy, still that funny ever. :D
And her...she got a bf now. i can feel she's kind of changing to more feminine now. even did hair rebonding. Surprisingly!
but bottom my heart i knew i've got lot things wanted to share yet i just cant. Just thought it's jus not the right time to share with them. (somehow i finally talked about his story with my mum...was kind of relived because not much comments from her though)
Anyway, chatted with rong kai , jaet wei yesterday after came back home.
thinking back what i chatted with rong kai, felt like was i a little emo after came back from gathering? seems like i've got lot negative thinkings about friendships...was i thinking too much or i was too emo or it was really happened?
but sometimes really it's kind of complicated, isnt it? being friend nice in front you but back side of you who the hell knows what will they talked about you?! I was never that closed to them though just like what rong kai said..not in the top 5 list.
Self Examing...my problem? :|
with jaet wei pulak, as usual she's busy with searching about what she want to do for research...i just thought she should do what she really want and think properly not just follow what ever her bro advised her to..(altho she always refused to admit it).
No camwhore at all with them though.huhu
P.S.: I found i m very much influenced by 2 of them recently.
in good way of course. be a more mature and own thinking person. :)
